Lech-From Where?
Psychologically Leaving Home
The epic statement “Lech-Lecha” “Go for yourself, from your land, your birthplace, your father’s house” tells Avraham to leave what place? The answer is from Charan not his actual birthplace of Ur Kasdim. Why is the temporary stop on the way from Ur Kasdim to Israel called his birthplace?
Abraham goes from his physical birthplace to a place called Charan, but he brings his father with him[1]. We have a tendency to bring our issues/habits from our family of origin with us when we leave home. In this case, Abraham brings his father and his father’s household’s issues with him, and his job is to decidedly leave his father’s way of living[2].
In order to fully grow up, we must make a psychological disconnection from our family of origin, which is called “differentiation”. This includes maturing and leaving home psychologically[3], and making a concerted effort to forsake the unhealthy patterns and ways of thinking from our youth.
“Go for yourself” is indeed an epic, epitomal statement. And it is correct that Gd says ‘go from your birthplace’ because Abraham is still in a physical and psychological sense in his birthplace/land/father’s house!
We must leave the bad elements of our family of origin and take the good. We must peel away the extra layers and live according to our own personality.
[To purchase The Seven Ways and study your personality click here]
IB
[1] See Rashi’s language, “
hitrachek od m’beit avicha.”
[2] See the first Midrash Rabbah on Lech-Lecha, which brings a sentence that describes Avraham’s journey as a princess leaving home and forgetting her family.
[3] It is possible to physically live at home and to differentiate, though more difficult. One would need to mature and become their own person, while still living around their family of origin.
Absolutely it was Charan. I think the comfort zone idea will prove to be a major part of the answer, I just want flesh out the idea even more.
If he was partially through his journey to Israel, in Charan, why is that called going from “your birthplace”?
I look forward to reading! I didn’t realize it involved his comfort zone. So we see once again that there is the literal translation and the deeper meaning. Literally, from Charan, but why should he leave his comfort zone? Is that something that should apply to all of us? Or was it specific to him? Are there appropriate times when it is okay to stay where you feel a sense of belonging and community?
Mirie, great to hear from you!
Well, I meant that, in my opinion, that that is part of the answer, but not totally (of course Chana, the previous post-er has full rights to make that her full answer B-) ) . But think about it Mirie: if you realized that you should move from Arizona in order to get a new locale and grow, and Gd tells you to keep traveling, from Sacramento to Seattle (of course B-) ) and Gd says to travel farther from SACRAMENTO because it’s your homeplace, what would that mean existentially/psychologically? Yes it means to move farther from ones comfort zone, meaning to keep moving away from a lack of growth…but what else?
Hint: Rashi says his father traveled with him from ur Kasdim/Arizona to Charan/Sacramento, *then* Gd said to travel farther from his father’s place. What would it mean if your parents moved in next door to Professor Levy’s house 1,200 miles away and you were told to keep moving?
see answer above
I really enjoyed this d’var Torah. It gives everyone something to think about and consider on an individual and personal level. Keep up the great work!
Thank you Nathan. I appreciate the feedback! IB