Ekev: One Man’s Switch from Insurance to Fitness

 

Short Version:

It is essential to utilize all of the different parts of our personality; to “integrate them” into our functioning and our lives. This is part of the concept of malchut-full integration of separate parts into a unified, synergistic entity.

Without full integration we lack complete happiness and fulfillment.

Being in the wrong job is an example. Thinking one can concentrate for long hours without sufficient breaks or human interaction time is another.

Yet another is a person who tries to study information in an auditory way, with word-heavy text, when they should be making mental and physical pictures to aid their memory.

“Know thyself” and plan the details-the “separate parts” of your identity-accordingly.

When King David (Psalms) or Gd (Deut.) ask for “one thing” and seem to ask for many, they are really asking for one thing, when that one thing informs all of the others. Kind David wants a close relationship with Gd, and Gd wants everything we do to be with sincere awe and respect. The idea of unifying parts underlies our personalities and religious life.

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Regular Version

I was once friendly with a very talented personal trainer. He was tall and muscular, but very approachable. He relayed to me that he once worked as an insurance underwriter but, after taking a personality assessment test, he knew he had been neglecting part of his true self.

“The people who gave us the test walked up to me and literally said, ‘Hey, you don’t belong here! Your personality is more extroverted and inclined to be helping people in some way.’ And they were right. Everyone else was the same: introverted and very analytical…I needed to break out of the cubicle and be more talkative and, yes, help people. That’s why I went into [personal] training.”

When we neglect parts of our true selves, we are unhappy because essential parts of us are being repressed and we are not actualizing the qualities that make us feel the most productive and fulfilled. We may do this because we are inclined to go with a typical standard that we think everyone is expected to follow or because our current job is not in a field that matches our personality.

                For a list of the different skill sets in the personality system I developed click here

Full integration of the self is a message from the concept of malchut.  Malchut means that a group of disparate parts have integrated fully into a whole (Shaarei Orah). An analogy would be the ever-productive anthill. This is why malchut is the word for “monarchy”, because kingdoms are supposed to function in this integrated, synergistic way. The same idea applies to the individual; “know thyself” and plan the details, the “separate parts” of your identity accordingly.

In the Religious Realm

You’ve likely heard a seemingly peculiar request made by Kind David, which is something we will soon read twice daily in our prayers. Kind David asks for “one thing” (to dwell in Gd’s house), and then he makes more related and similar requests (to gaze upon the pleasantness, to visit, etc.). The obvious question is that this is not one request [1].

An interesting midrash has Gd asking King David this very question[2]. David responds that he learned this from Gd, in this week’s parsha (Deut. 10:12-3)! “What does Gd ask of you but to be in awe of Gd your Gd” and, even though the “but” in Hebrew should make that the only request, the sentence continues, “and to go in His ways, and to love Him and to serve Him, with all your heart and all your soul; to observe the commandments of Gd and His decrees.” That is more than just awe of Gd. And it is quite peculiar that King David is pointing fingers back and Gd in order to justify that one is really many.

The answer is that we need to view the requests through the lens of malchut[3]. In each instance, the multiple requests are really all under the same integrated idea. Gd wants awe of Him to inform all of the other components. As that Talmud says, awe is like a preservative for all other observances. David’s desire to be close to Gd is the underlying desire behind all of his requests. This midrash, as others, it a metaphor meant to teach us that powerful idea.

Whether it is our relationship with Gd or our own internal selves, we must work to unify all disparate parts. When we do so, we not only get rid of hypocrisy, but become an exponentially stronger, actualized whole.

                To learn more about actualizing yourself read The Seven Ways 

To schmooze about personalities or request a free personality assessment email Ian Bailey at thesevenways@gmail.com

—Ian

[1] Hemek Davar 1:12, Yalkut Shomoni ​27 remez taf shin vav.

[2] Yalkut Shimoni, Ibid.

[3] I heard this answer from Rav Aharon Lopiansky, and I myself am translating it into sefirot terminology and expanding upon it.